So hi!

lol.


Wow, you know, life is severely interesting. That is, it is to me.

I feel as if I am a kaleidoscope constantly morphing into new paradigms every little which way whenever it chooses, and never forming a pattern exactly the same as the last. Ah the bane of being at the stage of life where the frontal lobe of the brain is drastically developing into the way it will function for the rest of human life. The time when a person learns so much about themself, and becomes who they quite possibly will truly be for the rest of their life.

I have yet to find out who I am. Thank you Captain Unique. Already I have met many people here who are impacting my life quite drastically. There are two men who are in love with me right now.

I swear I did not do anything to promote this; I did not act any differently to them than I do to any other person.


One's name is CJ; a 26 year old who had a hard life, is LDS, and has "never had a smoother relationship". A week ago he confessed that he has fallen in love with me.

The other, John Damon, is half white half korean, 24 and catholic. He works with me at the casino as a facepainting artist. He told me that when he first met me, (I tapped his shoulder, said Hi I'm Ray, and he said uh Hi i'm John and my sister is Julie, and ran off much to my confusion) he hid at his face-painting booth and couldn't stop staring at me for the remainder of the day. This was 3 weeks ago, and he told me this last week. ow he keeps buying me chocolate and energy drinks and lunch and movie tickets and will be by my side as often as possible at work, whether he's scheduled or not.

Oh, and by the way, he is 'team Edward'. Yes girls, he's obsessed with Twilight. Last week he held me in his arms and told me that I am quickly becoming 'his Bella'. He's that obsessed. AND I DID NOTHING TO PROMOTE THIS. He told me I really am like his own brand of heroine, and now, no matter what I do, he'll always be there for me. He'll always obsess over me, whether I love him or not. And as of tonight he also confessed that he is in love with me.






WHAT THE HELL DID I DO???? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????


There's not much I wish to say about CJ; just that I knew him longer than John, and really started to like him for who he is and we got a pretty strong connection. Plus he's really handsome; he doesn't talk much, but when he does I understand him and listen and apparently he likes that.


On top of all this, I... um .... I might be in love with someone else completely. I cannot bear to say really anything about him. Only that... I don't know if the feelings are mutual. However... if he asked me to marry him, I think I would say yes. It's the first time I've truly accepted that possibility as a reality.

I am torn between three men. And I never wanted to be in a relationship to begin with. And of course, Murphy is out to GET me! I don't know what to do. I think I'm falling for John though over CJ.... and if the other guy never comes around to me.... arrgh I don't know what I'll do.



By the way, my job is friggin awesome.



I love you all so very much